Positive Thinking

...Is hard to do. I'd started to write an entry about my transsexualism, about how I felt like a failure, how I am so scared of the pressures and violence that come from attempting transition.

But I had to stop writing. Thinking too hard about transition and about my earlier falied attempts makes me wonder if it will ever be possible for me. I am scared that it might not be, I am terrified that I might always be as I am now. Thinking about failure (which is all I seem able to focus on) makes me intensly suicidal.

But ! I have a plan. Its a simple plan. Its plan of crossing bridges when I come to them. Right now my future in bullet points is.

Be able to cope with stress without going mad (almost there)
Get a job and lose weight.
Deal with problems once the first two are sorted.


Simple. Easy. Stress Free.