Low Down

I've been quite depressed for the past few days. Not as badly as I have been in the past and not badly enough to hurt myself but badly enough that I have been thinking a lot about sucicide.

I hate these mood swings. A few weeks ago I was suffering from intense, buzzing and drunken moods, somthing that I hated at the time but which, I realise now, was far, far preferable, even to the this realativly mild depression that I am experiencing.

Oh for a little stability in my psyche.

Alex, my brother was on tele last night. Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares. I felt so awful for him. I kept thinking that he was going to start crying (and I know I would have). Despite that though, it was still hugely exciting to see him on TV. I'm downloading the episode so that he can watch it when he comes back to visit in a few weeks.

Mum is practically better. Such a relief. She is still at Tredegar hospital whilst she waits for social services to fit a second bannistar to the stair (otherwise she is likly to fall down them). I am so relieved.

Ny tummy feels awful and by tummy I am euphamistically referring to my bowells. I think that the silly chinese food that I had tonight has caused me to spend far too much time at the toilet.

I have managed to completly block the kitchen sink. Tomorrow when, hopefully, the water in it will have drained away I will have no choice but to engage in a little plumbing work to try and fix it. My silly idea of filling the sink to the brim in the hope that the weight of water would unblock it was extremely unsuccsesful.

I'm about the make another hot water bottle (because the radiators are still broken - the house is falling to wrack and ruin under my tender care) and continue my search for stories of important women in history by listening to some lectures on four famouse medieval women.