Wish you were here

I saw the GP again today. Thursdays have a system of no-appointments, first come first served. The wait was interminable and the room crowded with people that were sick and people that were children. Though shorter than last week, we talked about my situation and about my mother's. I am feeling better than I was, sedated and with the whif of zombie, but better. The sacrifice of my alertness and faculties is wort it. I am so afraid of becomming 'mad' again.

It seems that I might have enough money for curry tomorrow !!! Yay !!!

Ruth and I spent ages on the phone together last night. I so love talking to her. She was feeling upset and confused by the history of her relationship with x. I doubt that I invoke the kind of passionate emotions in Ruth that she still does, but then I never treated her as cruelly. Treat them mean as they (bastards) say...

I am so terribly lonely. I really want to spend time with someone, preferably Ruth, but any kind of company would be plesant to me now.

I think that I need some kitten cuddles.